Grief Has No Timeline: Giving Yourself Permission to Still Be Healing

Somewhere along the way, we got the idea that grief has a timeline.

That after a few weeks, you should be “getting back to normal.” That after a year, you should be “moving on.” That after several years, bringing it up means you haven’t healed properly.

None of that is true.

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. It doesn’t respect the expectations of people around you. Itshows up at the grocery store, in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon, when a song comes on that you weren’t expecting. It shows up years later, at a graduation or a wedding or a random dinner, when you realize with a fresh pang exactly who is missing.

This is not a sign that something is wrong with you.

It’s a sign that you loved someone.

The stages of grief were never meant to be a schedule.

Most grief therapists today describe grief as something you don’t “get over” but rather “integrate.” The loss becomes part of you. Over time, it doesn’t shrink, you grow around it.

Some things that can make grief harder:

Feeling like you have to hide it. Anniversaries and milestones catching you off guard. Grief that was never fully expressed at the time of the loss. Losses that weren’t fully acknowledged by others, a miscarriage, a pet, an estranged parent.

Some things that can help:

• Naming it out loud. Letting yourself feel it when it comes, rather than pushing it down.
• Finding even one person who will still let you talk about the person you lost.
• Creating rituals. Keeping something physical that connects you to them.

You don’t have to rush this.

There is no award for grieving quickly. There is no version of this where powering through faster makes you stronger. The people who give themselves permission to grieve fully who don’t rush, who don’t perform okayness they don’t feel, are the ones who eventuallyfind that grief and joy can coexist.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean the loss stops mattering. It means finding a way to carry them with you as you move forward.

If you’re in a season of grief right now, I see you. This work, making keepsakes, came from my own loss and I hold every order with that in mind.

You’re also welcome to join our private Grief Support & Healing Facebook group, a gentle

space for people who are still figuring out how to carry what they carry.

And if you’re ready to create something that lets you hold them close, I’m here.

-Brittany xoxo